Thursday, May 14, 2009
"We Some Bandits, Baby!": Blue Jean Bandits Hit A Big Lick
When I visited AJC.com today to check out what's going on in my city, I stumbled across a story about a robbery committed by a crew of dudes that police are now calling the "Blue Jean Bandits."
These "bandits" busted up in eModa downtown and stole $20-$30K worth of jeans, shoes and jewelry. Just six days prior the same store got hit up for $50K worth of goods. Adding insult to injury, the store owner is saying that his Philly location has been hit up three times in six years (that's a low number for Philly standards, no shots intended). Now, I know "moda" means fashion in Spanish, but I'll be damned if it don't mean bad luck right now.
I hope the owner can bounce back from this, I know what it feels like to have something stolen from you and its no fun. But...
I have to speak on these "bandits." Now, like any other rebellious teenager, I had my klepto moments. I never stole from people I knew though. Really, I didn't steal off people period. I'd just creep stuff up out of the store. That said, what's up with these "bandits" breaking into the store, looking like they just got finished shopping there.
I couldn't embed the video in the post, but you can watch it HERE. These gentlemen are by far the most stylish gang of crooks I've ever seen. One dude had on a teal hoodie with some silver streaks. Another had on one of those kaffiyehs and some shades. Then one of them had on ALL WHITE.
Now, I'm not professing to be some professional crook. But I come from a time when when it was time to do dirt, we wore black. The way these dudes are dressed, I'm led to believe that this had to be a random act. Odds are these dudes was probably coming from the club or going to the club and was just like:
"shied, what ya'll feel like doing?"
"shied, ya'll wanna hit up eModa?"
"aint they closed?"
"yeah...fugg it though."
Over the past couple of years and seeing the direction that men's fashion is going, I just started assuming that the crime rate was going down. Because surely dudes wasn't doing any robbing and shooting wearing purple and lime green Braves caps with some Santa Clause sneakers. Not to mention skin tight jeans that you can't run or bend in. But, the "Blue Jean Bandits" are proving me wrong. Oh yeah, what's up with the dude kicking out the glass door....wearing shorts? Really brah?
Seeing this reminds me of Mother's Day last year when I was buying something for my mom from South Dekalb. When I was sitting at the corner of Rainbow and Candler, I saw a kid at the bus stop smoking weed. As if that wasn't drawing enough attention, he was rocking a purple bandana (Juelz Santana style), a lavender shirt, some shiny Black jeans and some purple and gold Creative Recs on. Got damn now shawty, cmon now. Of course I saw some sirens approaching him when the light turned green.
Then when I got in the mall, I walked into a store where the clerk was telling a police officer that someone just stole something and ran. When the cop asked what the dude was wearing she said, I bullshit you not: a green Braves cap, yellow tank top, shorts, red sneakers and a Spider-Man bookbag.
Of course, by the time I was leaving the mall, the police had this clown hemmed up in the parking lot.
But yeah, I hope these dudes enjoy their spoils. Because I really think the coppers are going to catch their Paris Pack lookin' asses.
One time for the "Blue Jean Bandits," this song is for you.
Jim Crow-"Bandits" (1999)