Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Clay Gay? You Don't Say ?



Can't say I went to bed hoping that this would be the first thing I saw in the morning, but fugg it, this ish is funny...literally...



...but not really.

Really, like I said, its too early in the morning for this shit man. I really don't know what to say other than this is some ol' bullshit. If you gonna be gay dawg, just be gay dawg. The Clay Aiken's of the world kill me when they come out the closet in the media. So what nigga? You gay? So? You act like we didn't know that shit already.

When I was younger I used to think I hated gay folk, but now I don't think I really have a personal problem with them. I think I know a couple, they aight. I mean shit, if I was about to get hit by a car and a gay person chose to save me from getting hit, I ain't about to tell them "get yo gay ass away from me!" as a speeding car approached. If a gay person wants to business...CUT THE CHECK! I ain't saying I'm about to do gay shit for the check, I'm saying if they want to hire me for my services...cut the check. Had to clear that up, I know how shit can sound on the internet.

I pretty much treat them the same way I do every one else, I just choose to limit my conversation with most of them...the same way I do bums in the street asking for money, dumb ass niggas I used to go to school with that I haven't seen in a few years or people I probably just don't feel like talking to.

I think I more or less have a problem with lying ass gay dudes ("down low brothas") out there "fucking up the pussy population" as the late great Pimp C said. That kind of behavior is just all around foul. The other thing I think I have a problem with is just blatantly gay ass shit. You know, stuff that some gay folks do to let you know that they are gay even though you didn't ask their ass.

I remember one time I went on a little date to a mexican restaurant a couple years ago one weekend. Unbenowst to me, it was Gay Pride weekend. So after my and my girl sat down at the table a got the drinking, we kinda looked around and noticed they hey, it was a lot of gay people around. It didn't bother neither me or my date really. We were both straight and we were there with each other. Gay people being around wasn't gonna make the food taste any better or worst.

But then, some big ass Black Homer Simpson lookin' muthafucka walked up in there with a got damn pink tutu on. When I saw that shit I was like "cmon now man, giat dayum." I laughed at first at the sight of it. Then I got a little disgusted. Then I just angry because I started thinking "damn my nigga, all these gay white folk in here acting normal, yo Black ass gotta be the one in a got damn tutu." So even in our gayest moments, niggas still gotta do nigga shit. I'm pretty sure there were other gay folk in there looking at him like he was crazy too.

The other Gay thing I have a problem with is when some of them think they supposed to get afforded certain shit, just because they Gay. I remember one time when I was buying some plane tickets on Orbitz, Travelocity, Expedia, one of them...I saw a link that said "Gay Travel"...the fuck is "Gay Travel." I wanted to click on it just to see if their were any "gay discounts" because if there was I was gonna raise hell. I didn't see any "Black Travel," "Young Travel" got damn "I Ain't Got That Much Money" travel...why was there "Gay travel." I thought Gay people were already everywhere dawg, you mean to tell me they got secret cities, hotels, airlines and shit now?

Or what about when Gay people think folks hate on them or discriminate on them, just because they're gay. Like, that basketball player John Amaechi. When he came out the closet, he tried to make it look like he was blackballed from the NBA because he was gay. Nah, you ain't in the league anymore because you sorry as hell. Which reminds me of something else. I went for wangs and thangs with some friends and associates last night. One of the girls that was with us was talking about how she found out the homecoming king for her old high school played in a "gay basketball" league on some reality show. The fuck is "gay basketball?" Really man? Do they bang harder in the paint? Do they commit "soft fouls." Do they play with WNBA balls? The hell? I thought basketball was basketball.

I remember when I used to work at this BS summer job back in 1999. This one dude that worked there was gay as hell. He didn't bother nobody, but he was gay as all outdoors. But, he also was a poor performer and showed up when he felt like it. So, when he gets fired, he comes back claiming discrimination because of his "alternative lifestyle"...nah brah, your "lazy lifestyle" is what got you fired. Being gay ain't shit to do with you not coming to work...or maybe it did, haha.

But yeah, about Gay Aiken (don't act like ya'll wasn't already calling him that). Dude just seems to be doing a little too much. From reading the articles related to this People cover story, dude is a newly born again Christian, a new father (through artificial insemenation of course, he ain't touching the p*ssy) and he is "newly" gay. Got damn buddy, you got alot going on don't ya? Usually, those things are heavy one at time, he taking on all three!

On top of that, like, why he gotta come out being a father the same time he come out being gay? Its as if him saying "Im a Gay man" ain't enough. He has to say "Im a Gay dad" too. The fuck does that shit mean? You a "Gay dad?" But yet you imply you aren't gonna raise the child any particular way? Yeah ok. I mean, a "bad Dad" definatitely raises his kid a certain way. Just like a "rich dad," "poor dad," "tough dad," "lazy dad," "drunk dad," raises their kid a certain way, even if they don't try to.

Plus, shit, I might be getting my Captain Obvious on, but Clay Aiken is gay as hell! I hate to sound stereotypical but, can you imagine Clay Aiken teaching his son how to fix shit around the house? Talk to girls? Lift heavy shit with your knees, not your back? What if the kid wants to play in Little League sports...when its time to pay dues or volunteer for practice is Clay gonna be on some "well, I can't do that, because I'm a Gay dad." I mean, I'm sure Clay will teach the child how to do normal human tasks...and judging from the photo, he'll be dressing the kid in blue instead of pink...but teach him to be a man? Not sure, I guess that's where the other mommy is gonna have to step in. I don't know, maybe that's just me being stupid for thinking that he can't.

But really, none of this is my business anyway and I really don't care. The whole situation just looked comical to me and it gave me a good laugh. "I'm a Gay dad" GTFOH with that shit man. Hahahahaha.

15 comments:

Nick Love - The Brand said...

LMAO @

"So even in our gayest moments, niggas still gotta do nigga shit".

That is Comedy Central right there!!!

i'm just an ordinary negro... said...

man u hit the nail on the head with all that shit, especially with the "lettin me know you're gay when i didn't ask yo ass!!" it's for that reason alone that i don't do too much hanging around in Lenox after my purchases too much these days cause muhfuckas got to go outta they way to be all extra flambe with that shit...

fuck outta here, lol...

Jabari said...

dawg ur funny...you type exactly how u talk...i can hear u saying that shit...

Janee TMB said...

I see I gotta start patenting my jokes, Captain Obvious. But yeah I echo the previous sentiments. Funny. Lenox Mall has to be the gayest place in the universe...

mr.soul:216 said...

MG u a fool man, but it's all the realest talk. i agree with jabari, this read just like u wre on the phone goin off...lol.

but gay people are cool. however, downlow gay niggas are the scum of the earth. be proud of what you are, or don't be it at all...

BLuHaZe said...

good read, homie.

Rodney said...

Classic post. Took me back to your MySpace bloggin days. You need to drop that book, brah.

BLVD said...

I co-sign this shit, lol.

CoCo said...

I know the flaming gay dudes can be a bit much, but the DL dudes are the reason I appreciate the flaming dudes. Put it all out there! Good read, very funny!

indiajarvisgirl said...

Lmao. That was too funny! Clay knows that every1 already knew he was gay. That article was not called for...lol it was def obvious.

Баян said...

ay Maurice, dontcha wanna replace Chris Rock on his HBO show?

[B]. ®oane said...

Good shit as always, folk! I'm personally wondering who the fuck didn't already know Clay Aiken was gay? Did they think that nigga was just extra feminine? Be forreal! And yeah, DL niggas are the scum of the earth. Thats why you can never trust a friend request of a nigga you don't know...

Chris said...

Shawty,

Once again you come with some classic material. This Gay stuff is out of hand. It was hard for me to finish the article because I was laughing so much.

Anonymous said...

Yo Belly of the beast is a good look! You got the sound, the only thing holding you back is the marketing. Like I told KIT....its all about how you market yourself! Keep grindin brutha, you will make it!

Vanessa said...

Interesting to know.