LETS GO HAWKS!

I had to post this. I can't remember the last time a Hawk was on the cover or front page of anything. Hell, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution (Atlanta's ONLY newspaper) hardly gives the team any love. I need everybody to put on their Hawks gear, go the nearest sports bar or huddle up in front of your TV and support the team, we can do this baby! And if you can, PLEASE come out in full force to Game 6 at the Playoff Factory this Friday.

Oh yeah, in case you weren't able to see my status message on Gchat, I want to give a shout out to all the "new" Hawks fans out there. Thanks to you, folks like me, who have been going to games all season including the last two playoff games couldn't get any good seats for Friday's game because they was all gone. I ain't tripping too hard, just make sure you cheer and scream as loud as you can. Be a part of the experience, don't just come to see it. LETS GO HAWKS!!!

The Dream-"I Love Your Girl" video

This shit jams!

I've been on this song for a long ass time now. Its about time they released it as a single. I'm kinda disappointed that they added a Jeezy verse too it, though. Nothing against Jeezy, but damn, am I allowed to hear a jammin ass R&B record without a rapper on it all the time? But yeah, I jam to the original version almost everyday and when this shit comes on in the club....maaaaaan, it goes hard. "Fuuuuuuuuuhhg Dat Nigaaaaaaah"

What Does This Pic Mean, Really?

When former Barack Obama spiritual adviser/pastor Rev. Jerimiah Wright's "scathing" sermons about America surfaced on YouTube last month, people thought it made Barack look bad. The people leading that charge was the Clinton camp. Saying that Barack being affiliated with such a man made him unfit to be president of the United States. Barack kicked Wright out his advisory board and began distancing himself from him. Then he followed it up with what many people are calling the "I Have A Dream" speech of this generation.

That was supposed to be the end of it, but then...

Rev. Wright kept talking. Now, at first, I had no problem with dude coming out and talking. I mean, he has every Wright (sorry, had to do it) to defend himself against the media's attacks. I mean, it wasn't like he was saying anything that hasn't been said in any Black household/school/family reunion/smoke session in America. Cool.

But, dude keeps talking. After a while, it goes from him trying to defend himself to trying to promote himself. Don't be surprised if we get treated to a Rev. Wright book before the election is over.

That said, when the above picture surfaced in the heat of the Clinton administrations attempts to paint him as a bad guy, it was ironic. How were the Clinton's trying to demonize a guy that they just had up in the White House?

But, a month or so later, I ask, what does that picture mean really? It starting to look like it means that Wright and the Clinton's are still down with each other. Every time Wright opens his mouth, he hurts Obama and helps Clinton. For him to be considered so "controversial" he sure is popping up all over the place now. I mean, everytime I log onto the internet I see this guy. Hell, I seem him more than the pastor of MY church.

The last time someone was considered "controversial" we only saw him talking on TV 2 or 3 times a year, if that.

So, what do you think? You think the Clinton's are putting the battery in his back and a knot in his pocket? Or you think dude is just talking too damn much?

Got Damn! Must be 2-Tied!

Man, Saturday and last night have been two of the greatest experiences I've ever been a a part of. My Hawks are not backing down from the Celtics in any way, shape or form. I mean, even in the games we lost, we wasn't playing scared, just a little unprepared. But I am so proud of my team. Especially ZaZa and what he did last night. When Kevin Garnett tried to punk him, he got up in his face and let him know that he ain't Dirk Nowitzki. Damn that got the crowd crunk, everybody sitting in my section was throwing up the "A" and shouting "A TOWN." I'm reading that KG could get suspended for pushing a ref during the fight and that the Celtics' Kendrick Perkins and the Hawks' Marvin Williams could be sitting too because they left the bench. I'm in favor of all three happening. KG off the court is obviously good for us, and Marvin Williams off the court is even better for us. I mean damn, there were points in the game where it looked like Marv was trying to give the game away.

But yeah back to the games. The hell is up with Paul Pierce throwing up Blood signs in an NBA game? Thats the most ignorant shit I've ever seen man. No place for that in the NBA. Hell, no place for that anywhere grown ass men are period! They fined him $25k but it should be more. As for the NBA fining Deshawn Stevenson for doing the Tony Yayo dance, I mean, thats silly. Why David Stern considers that to be a "menacing gesture" is beyond me. He must have seen John Cena doing it on WWE and figured it was bad.

Anyways, I just wanted to post right quick since I haven't been able to get around to it for the last couple days. See ya'll at the Playoff Factory on Friday!

Decatur Loses Again

Koch Records just sent out this press release on the Eastside's own, Baby D. Damn I hope his "vehement disputes" are true. He ain't my favorite rapper, but that's my folks, cool people. What's crazy is that it feels like I just saw this nigga. According to this press release, he's been locked up for a damn month. Weird. I haven't heard niggas screaming "Free Baby D" or none of that around here. Is it that they don't care or don't know. I'm leaning towards the latter.

Damn, looks like he was really "Bout Money."

KOCH RECORDS/ BIG OOMP RECORDS ARTIST BABY D
HELD ON FEDERAL CHARGES IN OHIO

(April 23, 2008) – New York, NY – KOCH Records/Big Oomp Records recording artist Baby D is being held without bond in Ohio on federal charges for allegedly trafficking cocaine. Baby D vehemently disputes these allegations. He is being held in the Butler County Jail which also houses people held on federal charges). Baby D was arrested in Dayton, Ohio on March 26, 2008 and continues to be held without bail. He also has three pending assault charges in Tennessee where he has a bond set. A warrant for his arrest in Georgia was recently dismissed.

How this will affect the release of his new album, A-Town Secret Weapon (April 29th, 2008) is still unclear. Baby D has cultivated a loyal following of fans in his native Decatur and throughout Atlanta who have been chanting and bouncing with him for years. He made his move into rap music when he met hip-hop entrepreneur and retail powerhouse Big Oomp in 1994. Oomp was preparing to launch his record label, Big Oomp Records, and quickly signed the young rapper.

Baby D released his first album, Off Da Chain, at the young age of 16. His acclaimed follow-up Lil' Chopper Toy was released two years later

Baby D’s first single “I’m Bout Money” produced by DJ Montay (Flo Rida feat. T-Pain “Get Low,” UNK “Walk It Out,” “2 Step”) can be heard on urban radio, and the video is currently airing BET and MTV Jams, and was the MTV “Jam of the Week” for the first week of April. The new album A-Town Secret Weapon will feature appearances by Shawty Lo & Gucci Mane among others.

Killer Mike "2 Sides" feat. Shawty Lo

"Who are these Eastside niggas you be 'round?/I ain't neva eva seen these clowns"--Killer Mike



Man, I heard this song on my dude BP's myspace last night and I had to add it to mines immediately. This is the kinda song Atlanta needs right now. There is an identity crisis going on in my city and its got to stop.

I called Mike and them last night to tell them how hard the song is. They invited me over to Cutmaster Swiff's studio to hear more of what he's been working on for Pledge Allegiance To The Grind 2.

All I can say is GOT DAMN! Judging from what Mike has let me hear over the last few months, this is about to be one of the hardest albums to come out in a minute. Notice that I didn't say "hot" I said "hard." "Hot" music cools off and goes cold after the test of time. "Hard" music stands strong through and through.

I wanted to leak this song as soon as I heard it, but, being that I fuck with Grind Time pretty tough, it woulda felt like I was stealing from them. But, they went on ahead and gave me the OK just now, so here you go. This is a rip off off SMC's myspace though. I should have a CDQ by the end of the day.

Be warned, this song is not for the fakes who be claiming Atlanta/Decatur/Bankhead but live in Dallas/Canton/Rockdale County, GA. In the words of Jay-Z "if you're offended/can't take it back, handle yo' business."

Killer Mike feat. Shawty Lo (don't worry, he's only on the hook) "2 Sides"

Suave House Revisited

Here is rest of the Suave House story I posted up over at Black Ice today. Like I said over there, I wasn't sure if anyone cared about the two Suave House posts since there weren't alot of comments. But, people have been telling me personally that they felt and liked it, and that feels good. Thanks to everybody reading and appreciating.
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Suave House Revisited (con't)

Details remain sketchy as to what specifically happened to cause dissention in the house. When asked, the artists don’t go into much detail outside of Mr. Mike emphatically saying, “Yeah,” when asked if they felt if they were getting cheated out of money.

“It was a number of things, just a bunch of small shit,” offers Eightball about the situation. “Its like the sand in the hourglass. It starts off a grain at a time and before you know it, it was a lot of sand at the bottom. We felt like if we didn’t move on, it would ruin our lives, not our careers, but our lives.”

Adding, “The record label itself was trying to come between the artists. A lot of lies were being told. It was a bunch of other shit that made us wanna make a lifestyle change.”

He pauses with slight agitation in his voice, “I don’t think its anything I need to get into and I don’t think you need to ask me [again] another way.”

While feelings are still tense surrounding the aftermath of what happened at Suave, everyone for the most part has little to no regrets.

“I don’t think anything was taken from me but shit, I didn’t have all the knowledge I have now,” admits Crime Boss who along with Mr. Mike made arrangements to be released from their contractual obligations. “If I knew then what I know now, I would not have put myself in the position to be taken.”

“We wasn’t paying attention to everything like we should have,” sighs Eightball. “We was just making good music and having fun. But we got a lot of things out of it all. It was good and bad like any situation. We’ll never forget it, but we don’t feel like we have to dwell on it.”

Thorough chimes, “I don’t have nothing bad to say about my time there because it was an experience that I learned from. From my experience there I have built ties that can never be broken. But I also have ties that can never be repaired.”

At the turn of the century, Suave CEO Tony Draper made efforts to resurrect his label. He signed then unknowns Noah (now signed to Jive Records), Big Duke (one fourth of Boyz N Da Hood) and Rick Ross (now signed to Slip-N-Slide/Def Jam). While the future once again looked promising, fate would take another turn.

“My album was actually finished in 1999,” says Noah. “But it didn’t happen because it wasn’t a part of God’s plan. I went into the situation blind though. So it was kind of a blessing. I appreciated the whole experience. I take it all as a positive though. I knew what I was getting into. I knew what kind of niggas I was dealing with.”

“We lost the deal with Universal before my album came out so we was in shambles at that point,” reveals Big Duke as to why his album never saw the light of day. “I wasn’t sure where the company was going, plus I never really signed a contract. I don’t wait around for no hand outs so I moved on. But I don’t have any complaints. I ain’t see nothing there that I ain’t seen at So So Def, Bad Boy, anywhere. Everybody got issues. I ain’t see nothing shady there that I ain’t seen nowhere else.”

Ultimately, lessons were learned by everybody that’s ever walked through the Suave House’s doors. Hell, notes have even been taken by people came about long after it was closed.

“People are sampling our shit more than ever,” smiles Eightball. “Shawnna sampled us on her new album, Trick Daddy redid “9 Little Milimeta Boys”, “Lay It Down” has been redone and cats sample our hooks now.”

“People still come up to us talking about shit we said ten years ago,” gleams Thorough. “There ain’t nothing wrong with that. I wouldn’t change that for nothing. God put us in a situation to do great things, but as men its hard to handle it sometimes. Everybody had talent. It was unfortunate that we couldn’t do better than what we did.”

No Thanks

If this is the secret to Sam Cassell and the Celtics' success against the Hawks and the other 28 NBA teams...



I think I'd rather lose. Taking an asswhuppin' is way more manly than taking an ass massage, press, squeeze, pound or whatever the fugg dude is doing in this picture.

Eff the Celts. Game 2 Wednesday.

[pic spotted at The Commission]

Bun B "That's Gangsta"

I didn't particularly like this song at first. Sean Kingston's voice made it sound more pop than "gangsta." But the second time I heard it, I really felt what Bun was saying on it. Not the best example of his flow, but he still brings it. Easily the most consistent rapper in the game. I mean really, can you remember a horrid Bun B verse. Song maybe, but verse, I don't know.

Speaking of Bun, I'm trying something new. I'm building a site thats gonna double as a online portfolio and memoir giving backstories to some of the pieces I've written over the last 6 years I've been in the writing game.

The first post is the Bun B feature I just did for The Source. Peep it @ the new MauriceGarland.com

Bun B Feature: The Source, May 2008

[click pics to read]

This piece has alot of backstory to it.

I first met Bun B back in 2005 when I was working for Rolling Out. Me and my co-worker Kim met up with him at Studio 7303 in Houston. He seemed to be in a very agitated mood that day. When we were walking in, he was storming out going off on a stylist. I was almost afraid to do the interview. After he seemed to calm down, he gave me 15 minutes of his time to talk. I asked him the obvious stuff at the time: How often do you talk to Pimp C (who was incarcerated at the time)? What's the solo album going to be about? Blah Blah Blah.

He must have been doing interviews all day long because he seemed very tired. He answered the questions cordially, but that was about it. He didn't show me any energy when I snapped photos of him, but then again, I don't think I showed any back.

That would be the last time I talked to him for damn near 3 years.

The next time I'd come in contact with Bun would be indirectly. When Pimp C passed, I wrote a blog at XXLMag.com about how his passing was just as devastating as Big and Pac's were, especially in the eyes of a Southerner. The shit was kinda heart wrenching to write. I had never met or spoke to Pimp. So for my first piece on him, other than a music review, to be a eulogy of sorts really messed with my head. The blog post got a lot of good feedback. But one comment that stood out in particular was one from Bun B himself. Of course, with the internet being the slimy place that it is, I didn't believe it was Bun at first. I just thought it was some overzealous fan with misguided emotions.

But, when I got on the phone with Bun to do this interview for the Source, I told him that I wrote a Pimp C blog for XXL and asked him if that was him that left that comment. He confirmed and said yes. I ended conversation telling him that I'd hope to run into him in New Orleans during All-Star Weekend. He said he hoped the same.

Lo and behold, thats exactly what happened. While working with Konsole Kingz covering different events, I ran into Bun at a billiards tournament that Shaq and Reggie Bush were hosting. I introduced myself and he seemed glad to see me and in a better mood that what I saw 3 years ago. We chopped it up for a few minutes before I had to get back to work securing other interviews.

After that me and man Branden Peters (XXL Lifestyle Editor) headed over to a Brand Jordan Party where the bar was wide open. So open that people were fixing their own drinks at one point. I met Magic Johnson there, got a picture too. From there we were joined by Khalid Salaam (SLAM Magazine Senior Editor) and hit up an ESPN party, and then their VIP late-night/early morning breakfast.

The 3 of us were waiting in the buffet line, hungry as hell. The place was packed with athlete's and celebrities. When Bun and his wife entered though, it seemed like everybody stopped what they were doing for a minute. Terrell Owens went out his way to come speak to Bun screaming "WHATS UP BUN!" loud enough for everyone to hear him. Bun acknowledged him, but he kinda sonned him at the same time by just shaking his hand, nodding his head and keeping it moving. But what's crazy is that when Bun saw me and boys in line, he smiled and said "WHAT UP REESE!" At that point, I felt cool as hell. Bun B sonned T.O. to come holler at me.

He asked if he could skip me in line to get a plate for his wife, and like a straight up fan I replied "hell yeah, you Bun B!" So, I'm not sure if he greeted me like that because he was happy to see me or if he was just trying to skip in line. I'd like to think it was more of the former since he talked to me the whole time we were in line as if we had known each other for a minute.

The food was excellent if you were wondering.

Anyways, I was able to inject most of that backstory into this here feature. I think it added a lot of color to it, making it that much better. I was kinda dissapointed when I turned it in though. The editor, Ryan Ford told me that he absolutely loved the piece, but that I must have forgot the word count because I went way over it, so he had to do some cutting. Luckily, the cutting isn't really noticeable because the story still flowed well. In fact, I need to go back and check to see exactly what he cut, because I hardly even noticed.

Barack's Brush

Funny. But "Wipe Me Down" would have been funnier.

See the real video here.

Suave House (con't)

Here is the continuation of the 2006 Tony Draper interview I just posted over at my XXL blog. If you want to get brought up to speed on what it is I'm doing, please check out what I started and comeback. A briefing will be too too long. Ok, enough of me, here is the rest...

Check back later for the actual Suave House piece me and Jacinta Howard worked on.
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Tony Draper Interview, 2006

The age range of people that are going to see Suave House II may not even be very familiar the original Suave House. Give them the history on the company.

Suave was something that I created, I started. Initially I just was wanting to take some rappers and put them out. I wanted to be a DJ but that wasn’t working. So I just started having rappers rap over instrumentals. But doing that gave me some game. So I started Suave at 16 years old. I had Big Mike signed, he was the first real artist I had. But I was so young, I didn’t have no contract. I had his demo and it was hot that a mah fucka. But I had to charge that to the game. Where I come from a man’s word was everything. So when he went to Rap-A-Lot, I wasn’t mad at James [Prince]. I was mad that Mike wasn’t no stand up nigga. He was my friend. I saw talent in him. Why ain’t you see talent in me? I’m a young nigga, taking penitentiary chances to get you in the studio. I realized at that age that I had to get my business straight. So me and my nigga JB, he was running the South West and Houston, so we had the shit from Kentucky to Texas. So the next time we stepped out it was gonna be right. I was in Memphis and saw 8 Ball & MJG on stage, but they had 60 niggas on stage with them. I saw something special about them, the way these niggas controlled the crowd. They were fucking with some bullshit company OTS records so I stepped to the owner and said “what’s up with you?” He was playing like he was a big nigga, but he was a lame duck. So I took them from him. We made Coming Out Hard, in my house. I moved them in. Any product you trying to sell, you gonna have to have a very aggressive marketing campaign, this game costs money to be in. So I made sure I was always straight.

At that time it was just me Rap-A-Lot, Ruthless, and Luke Records. Those were the only independents. I just kept grinding and Coming Out Hard popped. Then I kept backing it up more quality artists. We had five gold albums with 8Ball & MJG. One platinum with Ball solo. Tela went gold. But I wanted to go to the next level. Niggas loving us, but we ain’t going to the next level. It seemed like artists had different plans, so I was firing niggs left and right. So they started talking to the artists like some little girls. If you a man talk to a man. Next thing I know, Tela wanna go to Rap-A-Lot. I told him you ain’t gonna do well, no one knows how to promote you like me. He had 3 albums and he ain’t do shit. They had a power house there, but no one knows him like me.

That’s why 8Ball don’t sound like he used to when he was with me. After all that shit, Ball wanna go to Bad Boy. I never knew that the artists were upset. They never told me. I gave Ball and new house and new car and now I’m talking to his lawyers and telling me they don’t want to be on Suave no more. I ain’t seen Ball in 4 years, he changed all the numbers. I can’t blame them though. They don’t come from where I come from I can’t expect them to have loyalty, they don’t know what loyalty is. That was money I spending from niggas who bled from the hustle. For you to be so disloyal, that says nothing good for your character. I don’t talk street, I live street. So when we was getting ads in The Source and television commercials, that was penitentiary chance money. All I ever asked for was loyalty. I don’t handcuff a nigga like a hoe. If you have integrity, show it. Live by it.

Have you had contact with the former Suave artists in recent years?

I haven’t seen none of them niggas. Me and Crime Boss speak occasionally. He’s my cousin’s best friend. That’s how Crime Boss got on Suave. Crime Boss is a good dude. Him and Mr. Mike the only ones I got respect for. When Mike wanted to leave, he made sure I got compensated. I respect that he made sure that happened.

I’m not bitter. Its just when I see them, I ain’t gonna fuck with them. I’m just gonna do me. I’m just gonna take steps, and the steps I take the real niggas will embrace it and so will the artists. Like Big Duke [former Suave House artist who is now a member of Boyz N Da Hood], that’s my nigga. I talk to him every week, he came to me as a man and we squashed what ever was between us.

What happens to make all of your artists leave you over the years?

After they get in the game people start telling them that they got a bad deal, that I shouldn’t take half their publishing from them. I was there when no one was giving them anything in ’92. I didn’t mistreat them. Ball and G been had nice houses and cars and shit before I got with them. But say if you catch a person in your hood that’s the coldest rapper in the hood. And you say “I’ll give you $100,000 to make a record but give me half your publishing.” He gonna sign that shit. People need to honor the game. Stick to the contract. He ain’t never had $100,000 or nothing. How is that bad business when I do the work to make it pop? I invest in the marketing/promotion, the studios you rapping in. You can’t play the industry game with me, I’m a industry nigga.

That being said, what else are working on?

Me and a friend are talking about building condos in Houston.

I manage Pusha T and Malice of the Clipse. Their new album is bananas too. Everybody spitting that cocaine flow is gonna have to put that shit up.

I’m in charge of the marketing of the new Ice Cube album. It’s coming out through his own label, Lench Mob records, It has Scott Storch and Swizz Beats on it. Cube is a very successful dude so it’s smart for him to put up his own $2.5 million of his own money. I’m so happy for him, this is gonna be the first catalog master that he owns. It’s a great day in hip hop when you see the top echelon put his own money behind it. It’s dropping June 6, its so crazy.

At the same time I own all my masters too so I put my own money up to run Suave House. I don’t need nobody else. It’s a whole new feel. Suave been gone for 4 years. We cold as ice cubes right now. But I’ma show you how to hustle and get back on your feet in 12 months. Mark my words, Suave is gonna be back on top in 12 months.

Since you and your company laid the foundation for the South's current reign, how do you feel about the movement, the quality of music coming from it and its future?

Its cool cause we shining, but it ain’t really cool cause people are taking away from what the south really is. We got niggas that spit, its a lot of great MCs, but they get over looked because folks be wanting novelty songs. Its making money but it won’t stand the test of time. I make music that stands for years and listen to music that stands for years. I still bump NWA, UGK, ‘Kast.
No disrespect to Luda and T.I. and the other ones coming up with them, but they ain’t create the movement. There’s a history you got Luke, ‘Kast, Rap-A-Lot. The train been rolling, as long as they acknowledge that, everything will be fine.

Nigga Please...

Once again, this one of those moments where I don't know whether I'm helping or hurting in even acknowledging this Tom Foolery. But, when I saw this picture of Mike Jones latest promo item for his new single. I just....I just...man, got damn!

Ladies and Gentlemen...the Bobble Butt doll.



Whaddup R.E. and Bear.

UPDATE: I stumbled across some more dumb shit. Looks like Kell's was on the receiving end of the golden show this time. HE'S A BEAST!



Spotted at The Smoking Section

Long Time Coming...

THE HAWKS ARE IN THE PLAYOFFS!

Got damn ya'll don't know how happy I am right now. I pre-ordered my tickets two weeks ago as soon as they became available. Luckily my faith in the team payed off! Even though we kinda backed in, its still a victory for us.

Man, in case you didn't know, the Hawks had the longest post-season drought in the NBA (Warriors had it up until last year...I see you BP! Good luck this time around). Crazy thing is, I remember the last time we was in the playoffs.

It was 1999. We played and beat the Pistons (whaddup D!) in the first round. I actually went Game 2 with my cousins. We were playing in the Georgia Dome at the time and it was at this game that I was introduced to the pleasure of drinking beer at a professional sporting event. I wasn't old enough to buy alcohol yet, but the fam looked out for me! I remember all of us being pretty tipsy and heckling Grant Hill. I think we got caught on the jumbo screen once too. After seeing that we sat our asses down, it wasn't the best look. Especially with my underage drinking ass.

We came into that game with a 1-0 lead, won Game 2, lost both away games, and came back home and won the series. We went on to play the Knicks in the next round and got swept.

So, I guess I can be happy that my last in-person playoff memory of the Hawks was a win. Going into this years playoffs facing the Celtics seems like a lofty task, but the Celtics, like every other team in the NBA is beatable on any given night. We just played them this past weekend and stuck with them until the 4th quarter where old ass Sam Cassell just started bombing on our ass.

Hopefully, playing them again so soon will help us in making the proper adjustments. I'm also hoping, well praying, that we get some decent play from the bench. Coach Woody has done a good job in crushing our young bench player's spirits by having them ride the pine all season. So it would be foolish for me to expect a group of young cats who hardly played to all of a sudden come out and be super productive. But hey, the Warriors pulled off a miracle last year...maybe we can be this year's feel good story. But the bottom line is, in order to win in the playoffs you need to play defense and have a bench.

But later for that. I'll worry about that later, I want to bask in this joy for a couple days. I'll really be basking if we end the season winning our last two games.

Oh yeah, don't be too surprised if you see or hear about me on the news. Because straight up, if I end up sitting next to some punk-ass transplant rooting too too loud for the Celtics, I'M SWINGING! No questions asked...I'm taking whatever team paraphernalia they have on and launching that shit into the crowd. You've been warned. Hawks fans, we need to take our arena back! Like my homie Bem told me the other day...you wouldn't be able to set foot in one of these other arenas and behave like that. So I'm leading the charge. If I catch somebody with a little too much Celtic Pride...I'm slappin' & kickin'...Chris Rock style.

Come On 'Melo

Damn, this makes me mad and sad at the same time. Last year 'Melo was having the best season of his life and got in that fight with the Knicks. Now, with his team in the Playoff hunt and perhaps capping one of the most competitive NBA seasons in recent memory he goes and does this. Damn dude...YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT! Damn I'm hoping this is just the media making an issue of a non-issue.

'Melo Arrested On Suspicion of Drunk Driving

TONIGHT!

I told ya'll about them a while ago...but if you still don't know...come here and find out.

Bitch Ass Bartender

Man, got damn I wish I had a picture of dude face. But this shot my homeboy Eric found on Facebook is just going to have to do.

Anyways, I went to Halo Lounge last night for an event a publicist friend was having. I wanted to go out and support since she invited me and shows me love whenever she can. I'm not gonna lie, I don't frequent Halo Lounge, shit, I don't frequent the midtown area its in period. Not my cup of tea.

I was heavily debating on going in the first place because it was Monday and then on top of that the NCAA Championship game was on. But I went to try and show some support. I'm not going to get into some of the weirdos I saw there because shit, being a weirdo in Atlanta seems to be the new shit. I'll skip straight to this punk ass bartender.

So, they was giving out drink tickets at the door. I must not have correctly heard what the girl passing them out said. Because when I went to the bar to ask for a Long Island, the bitch ass bartender quipped "Not with that ticket BUDDY!"

At this point, I'm just like, okaaaaaaaaay?

Hold up, I'm skipping a part. Before we even got that, dude ignored me like 3 times. I know this muthafucka saw me dawg. He did that shit three times and served folks that came after me.

But, back to the drink part. So, I ask him, "so what can I get with the ticket?"

He says either Patron or some shit that started with an F. I politely asked him what the F-stuff is. I mean, I was curious. I was new to the lounge and never heard of the drink, honest, simple question. Right?

So this bitch ass nigga huffs and puffs and says "its Italian."

I ask, "Italian what?"

He huffs and puffs again and walks off like a little hoe.

Now, at this point, my dumb ass is still sitting there entertaining the notion of actually paying for what I wanted. But then I came to my senses and decided I wasn't giving him or this lounge SHIT out of my pocket BUT this damn drink ticket.

So when dude comes back, I tell him let me try the F-stuff. He asks "how do you want it?"

Keep in mind this Magnum P.I. lookin mah fugga never told me what the shit was or had in it. So I just said "make it strong."

This bitch ass nigga rolled his eyes as if I was getting on his nerves. He brings the drink and come to find out it was a shot of some brown, peppermint tasting liquor. He slams it on the bar and says "thats as strong as it gets."

At this point I was {this} close from throwing this shit at dude. Not on dude, AT dude. But then I thought about it causing a scene and embarrassing the person who invited me. Then I thought about the last time I saw someone attack a bartender:

It was back in 2003 at a DJ Nabs Welcome Back Party at the old 1150. An unnamed rapper got into with with the bartender. He wound up throwing some napkins towards the bartender and the bartender took the water/soda/juice spray hose and spayed him down on some Jim Crow (*hint*) shit. The rapper jumped over the bar like Jackie Chan and started wailing on the bartender. He got some great licks in but the rest of the staff came over, jumped on dude and threw him back over the bar counter. Then security picked him up and threw him out the club.

I didn't want that to happen to me, so I chilled.

Anyways, I drank the drink and left. This mutha fucka had the audacity to ask for tip. Nigga please!

I told him "hell nah, fuck you dawg" and walked off. I posted up by the stairs for like 30 seconds, dapped a familiar face down and just left. I told the person who invited me thanks and dipped. I didn't want to talk her ear off and complain about some shit she had nothing to do with.

But yeah, fuck that fonky ass bartender in the picture. I'm not sure if I can just say fuck Halo because that was my first time there and he seemed to be the only problem. But, I don't plan on setting foot back in there again unless its someone there that I REALLY want to support. But other than that, to hell with them.

Being in there was the worst 15 minutes I had all day. Sitting in rush hour traffic and waiting on Merkenson's fish was better than being in that bunk ass club. I would have been pissed off had I missed the game fucking around with them.

Deja Vu

Sad to see, but congrats to the Memphis Tigers on a outstanding year. But hey like they used to tell us at the South Dekalb YMCA (Mighty Mites and Shooting Stars in the building!)...free throws win games and defense wins championships.

Memphis Tigers vs. Louisville Cardinals-2005 Conference USA Championship


Where's Darius?

The Longest Yard

So, I'm talking to my dude Matt the Mayor and hips me to some info...

Looks like Mike is keeping busy. According to ESPN.com Vick is killing in the prison yard football games. Falcons owner Arthur Blank keeps in touch with Vick and he says:

"Apparently, there was a prison football team and he played quarterback for both sides," Blank told the Daily News in Monday's editions.

I can see it now, Vick on the yard calling: "I GOT ALL TIME QUARTERBACK!" I know ya'll remember that shit...hahhhaahaa.

Children vs. Kids

Remember that Chris Rock routine, Black Folks vs. Niggas? Sheer genius. That might been the routine that made Chris my favorite comedian. Hell, that whole "Bring the Pain" HBO special really.

Well, I've had a similar routine going on in my head for the last year or so. Mines is Children vs. Kids. Now, I know you're probably asking yourself, whats the difference between a child an a kid? Its actually quite easy when you sit and think about it.

When you think of children, you think of little youngsters. Well behaved children who only speak when spoken to, use manners at the dinner table, wear their clothes nice and neat. When you think of children you think of youngsters who raise their hands in class, stop and look both ways when they cross the street and say "please" and "thank you." Don't believe me? Try this. Close your eyes and think of the word "children." What pops up in your head? I'll tell you what pops up in mine:

smiling faces
laughs
bright eyes
flowers
chirping birds and shit

Now, close your eyes and think of the word "kids." What pops up now? I'll tell you what pops up:

broken shit laying around the house
loud ass yelling
crying
band-aids
spilled drink on the carpet
kool-aid rings around the mouth
candy stuck to their shirt
bad report cards

Am I lying?

I didn't want to believe the thought I was having, but, after while, it just became undeniable. For instance, I was at church yesterday. Usually, I try to be strategic about where I sit at church. No, I don't do that to try and sit next to pretty women with their "I need a man" dresses on, nor do I do it thinking if I sit close to the pulpit, I'll catch the holy ghost and some extra blessings. No, I do it for two reasons. One, to avoid sitting next to kids and two, to avoid the cameras or plain view in case I dose off in the middle of service. (Don't act like you haven't done that)

I was running late yesterday, so, I didn't have much of a choice of where I wanted to sit. It was either sit next to the woman who catches the HOLY GHOST EVERY SUNDAY or sit next to a bunch of kids. I chose the kids because I didn't feel like ducking elbows and flying shoes.

There were these twin boys sitting in front of me, some twin girls sitting next to me and a bunch of other kids sitting behind me. As soon as the service got started, they started acting up.

The twin boys were playing sword fight with their umbrellas acting a got damn fool! They were yanking the yarn out of the seats, making paper airplanes, jumping up and down, the whole nine! The crazy thing is that their mother was turning a blind eye to all of this shit. Every time the boys would start acting up, she'd just jump up and say HALLELUJAH! Every time they'd pop one of those umbrellas open she'd just jump up and say PRAISE JESUS! At one point I wanted to turn her around say "to hell with the choir, watch your damn kids!"

It wasn't long before the twin girls got in on the action. They started off just yanking each others hair. But after while they climbing on the seats and pulling on my shirt sleeves. Now, anyone that knows me knows that I can't stand no bad ass kids, so I yanked my arm away and shot that little girl a mean ass look like I really wanted to whup her ass...since her mother obviously wasn't going to.

Then, the kids behind me started complaing loud as hell. "Mommy Im hooooooooooot." "I have to go to the bathrooooooooooooooom." "Who's that man talking." "When can we go home?"

It took everything in me not to jump up and yell "SHUT THE HELL UP!.....in the name of Jesus, amen."

That wasn't the end of it. Since it was communion Sunday, they passed the trays around. Now, I ain't gonna lie, when I was little, I used to think communion was snack time. But still, I kinda had enough sense to know that this was something special. Plus, my parents knew not to pass the plates directly to me, but instead, get my wine and crackers for me. But not these folks.

The mother, like a dumbass, passed the plates to the twin boys and they both took two wine/crackers each. And she let them do it! Before the pastor even got to the part when he says "take this and eat together"...these little niggas was chomping down on the crackers talking about "ew, this nasty!" Then, they opened the drink and took them to the head like a shot of tequila. Of course, one of them messed around and spilled it all over himself. What did the mother do...the same thing she'd been doing all service, waving her hands and saying hallelujah to the choir.

When we sat back down, one of the little boys turned around and started reaching for me, for what I don't know, I guess he wanted to play. I didn't feel like hearing that shit so I slapped his hand gave him a motion with my finger to turn his ass around. Guess what? It worked, he acted like he had sense for the remainder of the service.

Now, I haven't mention the little girl that was sitting to my front-right. Why? Because she was well-behaved. She was acting like a "child" not a "kid." She knew better than to take two communions. She knew better than to climb all over the seats. She knew better than to untie her shoelaces. She knew better than to talk loud during service.

You know, I used to not like kids that weren't related to me at all. I mean, I've been out on dates where the woman I was with was turned off by the fact that I got easily irritated by the kid acting a damn fool at the table behind us. I guess that made them feel like I didn't like kids which meant that I wasn't good with kids which meant that I didn't want kids. WRONG WRONG WRONG...I just can't stand annoying ass people...it don't matter if your 7 or 27.

But, I am comfortable in saying that I don't like KIDS. I love children. I love the youth. But KIDS, hell no. Hate them mah fuggas.

1 to the 2, the 3 the 4...

5 GAME WINNING STREAK!

My brother likes to got down YouTube memory lane like I do sometimes. He sent me a vid the other day that I vividly remember, but hadn't seen in a long time. Funny, the Hawks game last night made it appropriate for me to post it here today.

In case you didn't notice, my Hawks are on a 5-game winning streak. We beat the Toronto Raptors last night in overtime. My homeboy Matt the Mayor had me on the tickets but I couldn't make it. Too bad, he told me him and some of the players hit the streets later that night. You already know how I feel about Hawks partying, so I'm not sure if I would have wanted to participate in that anyway.

But back to the game. We beat the Raptors in overtime. The game went into overtime after a buzzer beating shot by Raptors' guard T.J. Ford was waived off. Instant replay clearly shows that the ball was still in his hand when the buzzer went off. But it also shows that the folks at the scorers table started the clock too early. So really, we cheated, again.

Part of me feels bad. But the other part of me really don't give a damn because shit, we can use every win we can get. Plus, it ain't like we committing flagrant fouls and using steroids.

Anyways, all of that gave me an excuse to post this classic Goodie Mob video, "Dirty South." That's how we do down here...WE PLAY DIRTY! Sand in the eyes, foot in the crotch...hahahaha.

T.G.I.W.

If you live in Atlanta, and you're grown, then you know that the Wednesday WindDown at Centennial Park is one of the highlights of Spring/Summer. Fresh air, free jazz, cold beer, stiff drinks, women in sundresses and drunk uncles and street dwellers acting a {calm} fool...gets no better than that. The sun is starting to come out and stay a little longer now so you know its about that time for them to crank it up.

The 7-month run starts today at 5:30 and according to what I saw on the Weather Channel this morning, its going to be nice out. I'ma try to make it myself although its looking a little doubtful. Oh yeah, this year they've added a Lunchtime show every Tuesday and Thursday which should be very dope, very dope. So make sure you hook up with your favorite company or hell, family that may be in town and make it out to some of the shows.