Thursday, December 13, 2007

The 'Roid Report

Well, males and sports fans now have their version of the Superhead book. Today the long-waited Mitchell Report on steroid use in Major League Baseball hit the streets, er, the net. So far, this has got to be the hottest read of the year!

Names! Reciepts! FedEX Mailing Slips! The Mitchell Report has it all! My eyes are burning just looking at this! 409 pages of hot, juicy steroid talk! This puts Jose Canseco's book to shame! To hell with Game of Shadows! The Mitchell Report is where its at!

Ok. Sorry, had to get that out of my system. Right now ESPN is dedicating all of their programming to what's inside of this document. They are flashing names like Clemens, Pettite, Bonds, Tejada and Gagne across the screen. I've read some of it myself and saw a gang of names like Sheffield, Justice, Bell, Santiago.

I can't say that I'm too too suprised at this. Hell, I wrote about Clemens last year. Anyone with two good eyes and half a brain could see that he was on the juice. How else can you explain how a 45-year old man can still throw 90 MPH fastballs the same way he did 20 years ago? How can you not notice when a guy sits out half a season to "get ready." C'mon man.

But, to some of the player's defense, some of them probably weren't taking "performance-enhancing" drugs. Especially Mark Prior, he hasn't been shit since 2003. Some of these cats were taking needles to the butt to heal faster. After all, they're humans, not X-Men.

Every Suspect's Probably Negro is already spinning this story. They are calling the report "flimsy" because it doesn't have quotes from the players admitting to getting injected. They are calling it "weak" because its made up of "hearsay." I mean, haven't they been operating off hearsay for the last 10 years hounding Barry Bonds? Whatever man.

I'm also laughing at how all of sudden ESPN has alot of brotha Legal Analysts. Just like on the local news, bring out the brothas to talk about the bad news.

Well, anyways, I'm about to get back to reading the Mitchell Report. Oprah should put this on her book list. Before I go, here is a trip down memory lane, when the steroid era began...Chicks Dig The Long Ball. Looks like it was more than the shoes...

1 comment:

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

now they gotta stup mesing with Bary. Clemmons nd Pettite and Gange, well them woods will give them a pass Laugh on them now