"Without the Dutch...they'd still just be African"
I guess just like certain holidays, whether they be by Hallmark or the government...Black History Month kinda gets pushed to the back of your consciousness as you get older. I mean, lets be real...we don't get any of these 28 days off for anything, neither do our children. None of our favorite stores give us any Black History Month discounts and sheid...the only recognition I've seen the month get this year is VH1 Soul playing a gang of "conscious" songs today. Surely I can't be the only one that feels like Black History Month kinda escapes your conscious after you graduate and enter the real world. Its not like your boss is going to have those little cutouts of Mary McCleod Bethune and Thurgood Marshall hanging on the wall when you come to work in the morning. Which poses another question...is it just me, or did it feel like we just got reminded of same what...15-20 Black people who "did something" when we went to school. I swear every Black History month the teacher would hang up those same drawings of Ralph E. Bunche, Martin Luther King, Booker T. Washington, etc. Hell, those drawings didn't even give you any real insight to that person's contribution, it just told you what year they were born and what year they died. I guess we were just supposed to assume that dash in between was good enough. "What did George Washington Carver do kids?"...DASH!
But yeah, anyways. If you've been paying attention, you'd see that Black History Month has probably been one of the most eventful ones in recent years. Eh...let me stop lying, Black folks took some major L's this Black History Month. Keep this kind of ish up and we might lose it altogether. Here's a look back of some of the more memorable moments that I'm sure Carter G. Woodson would be be proud of.
The "Brotha Coach" Lost The Super Bowl
I asked one of my friends if Jim Caldwell "counted" as a Black coach. I mean, obviously, yes he is Black. But it didn't really seem the same rooting for him as with other Black coaches. He pretty much succeeded Tony Dungy and inherited what he layed down. It ain't like he had to go through a long process to get hired or anything. Plus, I don't know about ya'll but it seemed like Peyton Manning was coaching the team the whole season, and the one time Caldwell made a choice...the Colts lost and ruined their chances of having an undefeated season. But on the flipside of that you can look at it as something that should've been happened, old retread White coaches have been getting preferential treatment for years.
Wale Passes On The Chocolate
Nigerian rapper Wale caused a fuss early this month when he released a video for his single "Pretty Girls" which featured light-skinned women almost exclusively. Of course this sent darker skinned Black women into a rage...and I feel them. Who said fair-skinned females could have a monopoly on shaking their ass for the camera? (I keed I keed). But yeah, the internet uproar over this video showed that the brown paper bag rule is still a polarizing element in the Black community. The Sistas e-picketing over this video was met with a new Wale video featuring all dark-skinned girls by the end of the day. Guess this means when a group of people speak strongly enough against something, change happens. But...something tells me (well actually, knowing how long it takes to shoot and edit a music video tell me) that this was all planned.
John Mayer Also Passes On The Chocolate
Right after the sting from Wale's video was starting to go away...John Mayer came along and punched Black women in the gut for good measure. In an interview with Playboy Magazine, the smart-mouth guitar player who laughs at his own jokes had a lot to say about his sex life:
"My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick."
Apparently Mayer was every Black woman's White boy crush and a few of them felt offended. Really...I think a little bit of everybody felt offended by dude's remarks. I could care less what he does with his penis. If John Mayer doesn't like Black women "More For Me" (c) Devin the Dude.
If anything I was moreso "offended" (for lack of a better word) by his "hood pass/nigger pass" remarks. Attention naive white people out there...just because Jay-Z likes you or just because you listen to Jay-Z doesn't give you a hood pass. Hell, Jay-Z doesn't even speak for most Black people out there. If you want a "hood pass" come to the hood with some jobs, they'll love you for that.
Gorilla Zoe's 28 Mixtapes In 28 Days Campaign
Zoe is my guy so he knows this ain't coming from a place of hate, hell I've told him to his face the songs of his I like and don't like. Hell, I've been chastised by friends and professional peers for saying things like "Gorilla Zoe can rap" and "Gorilla Zoe could make some Scarface quality music if he wanted to." So yeah. But that said, I'm a fan of Zoe's and like seeing him win...but giiaaaaaat daaaaaayum! 28 mixtapes shawty? Not 28 songs...28 mixtapes shawty. That's alooooot of Zoe shawty. This idea teeters along the fine line between genius and insane. I've listened to some of it, and most of the stuff sounded like one long ass song because all the beats damn near sounded the same. Hopefully Zoe was just getting some stuff out of his system and plans on sitting down, focusing and making the great album that I personally think that he is capable of making. 28 mixtapes...got damn shawty.
Epic Beard Man: The Mini-Series
As a Black man in America...I'm sorry. You'll never get used to or look forward to seeing a White dude beat down a Black dude. The shit just reminds us too much of Jim Crow and Birmingham in the 1950's. I supposed this video can be considered to be an exception since dude got what was coming to him. Matter of fact, its not even the beatdown itself that bothered me. Its the racist comments and cartoons I saw on the internet. Racist White folks were rejoicing as if OJ finally got found guilty for killing Nicole. I mean, folks built wikipedia pages, tracked dude down for youtube interviews, the whole nine. Google "Epic Beard Man" and you'll get pages and pages of information, most of it smothered with racial slurs. Don't be surprised if the KKK replaces their hoods with grey beards from Party City.
OJ Da Juiceman XXL Freestyle
Hey, at least we know this was off the top of the head...we hope. The really need to put the arts back in our schools.
Zeta Tau Alpha Wins The Sprite Step Off
Forgive me if I come off as naive...but I was completely ignorant to the fact that White Greek organizations stepped. I thought that was only a Black college thing. I mean, the all White college frat parties I'd been to, the only stepping I saw was over drunk passed out people. But Zeta Tau Alpha from Arkansas came into Atlanta (yes, the "Black Mecca") and literally stomped out their competition. I'm not ashamed of White girls coming in and wrecking shop though. Especially since it looks like they truly outdid their competition and won it fair and square. But I am ashamed that the other teams not only let them come in and embarrass them...but acted like some hoes and found a scoring discrepancy that pretty much nullified their victory and made them share the crown with the AKAs. I mean, I can sit here and act like Black folks never got cheated in competition before...but damn, if this country is really supposed to be headed into this place of racial harmony, ALL OF US have to be fair.
2010 NBA Slam Dunk Contest
I'm still yawning from this.
Woman's Love Handles Save Her Life
Beanie Sigel once rapped about his gut keeping his gat in tuck, but he ain't got noting on this chick. A woman in Florida was shot at a nightclub, but her love handles stopped the bullet. Figuring that this was some sort of sign, she says she plans on getting even bigger just in case she gets shot again. Guess we should start calling them "life handles?"
Al vs. Tavis
I just spoke on this last week. Crazy thing is, I was actually going to write this post last week before this happened. But I figured I should wait until the entire month was over with because I just knew some more f*ckery was going to happen before March came.
But yeah...as you can see, Black folks took some L's this year during Black History Month. But shood, it looks like Jordan is finally about to own a basketball team, so I guess things are looking up. But for real, somebody needs to invent something pronto, we're looking bad right now.